Goth has become popular... God it kills me.
Why? Because popularity is exactly what goth isn't all about. This is something my husband tends to ask me about a lot because he doesn't quite understand the intricacies of being goth. He understands goth... I couldn't be married to him if he didn't, but the true definition of it he can't define... because he's not.
He is a cultural subgroup butterfly. He can fit in very well with many different types of people without really any problems. He's a geek though, a geek with an appreciation of the darker side of the world. He's not perky or trendy and has a darker sense of humor but his interests allow him to explore many things. Which really is a good definition of goth on it's surface, it just goes a bit deeper than that when you truly define it.
With the popularity of goth, many have tried to define it. Most popular media define it as depressed individuals who where black and seek attention. That's really a poor definition because the essence of goth runs against the grain of that definition. It's too superficial and that's why goth has become 'popular' because it's been so wrongly labeled.
Definition of goth then?
If that's not the definition... then what is? Goth is really impossible to define but it's not about just being depressed and wearing black nail polish. Goth is a cultural subgroup that continuously redefines itself because the core essence of goth is to (everyone get ready for the goth jokes...) non conformity.
It's hard to really pin point the time goth really began as a cultural subgroup. You could say the 70's and for all intents and purposes that is really when it began, but the idea of goth goes back much further... one could almost say it's always been in human culture, it just got it's label in the 1970's. It's the beatniks of the 50's and 60's, the horror followers of the Victorian (and early 20th century) era, ect.. ect.. it was those people who looked at popular society and weren't content with the bright sunny outlook and delved into emotions and subjects that most people suppressed.
Through out human culture, the norms of society have been mostly defined as beauty that wasn't disturbing. Depression, death, darkness has always been labeled as disturbing. Except for a brief period during the late 1800's... where death was actually well accepted. There was the movement that in order to deal better with harshness of death, accepting it was the best way to go. Funny, because in Victorian times repression of one's fears and feelings was strictly enforced, they took on death head on. It was a very superficial time, everyone was expected to ignore any other feeling but contentment with the status quo and appearing to be perfectly happy.
Society hasn't really changed much. Even now when it is more acceptable to confront your emotions, you are expected to 'get better' and emotions that are not deemed as 'happy' are not acceptable. So still... anything disturbing is not acceptable.
Goth is still about accepting things others find disturbing and turning them positive... yes I said positive. It's not about being depressed, it's about accepting that depression is part of human nature and learning from it. Goths usually aren't chronically depressed, goths just accept depression and don't try to ignore it or 'make it go away'. Goths find beauty in things others find disturbing. There's a beauty in death. Though that doesn't make us a bunch of mass murderers... that also doesn't mean that goths want to kill themselves. Death is metaphoric sometimes... the realization that all things end so new things can begin.
Death and Goths
As I said, there's a certain beauty in death. Goths fully realize death is going to happen, it's part of the life cycle. You have to accept you are going to die, but a well adjusted goth isn't trying to hasten that into happening. You can't make your statement about society if your dead. I've never met a real goth who really wanted to kill themselves, death (and suicide) is just another emotion to explore. For a goth, talking about killing themselves is actually rare, most work through any suicidal thoughts and take the experience to grow and learn. Explore it, but death is so final you'll miss out on a lot of fun by being dead... though exploring the emotions can be fun. It's morbid fun... but it's fun. That really sets goths apart from mainstream society.
A lot of goth music deals with death and suicide... because it is a way to deal with the emotions in a healthy way (dieing is hazardous to your health after all). Awareness of your feelings is actually healthy emotionally too. Poetry and music about death and suicide gives you an outlet to deal with those things in a way that doesn't harm you or anyone else. Of course, those that take a song or a poem about death and actually go and do it are extremely disturbed people.
Music and the mindset... is goth music really bad for people?
There have been too many truly unstable young people who have listened to goth music and thought it was telling them that they should do whatever it is in the song. Killing themselves or someone else... they think that the song is an outline on what to do.
It's not just goth music that is 'guilty' of that. For a very long time society has been concerned about music influencing people because of a few unbalanced individuals. Back in the 50's it was rock-n-roll, then it was rap, ect... you can find it in every era of music. Anyone who listens to rap and thinks it's okay to go 'cap' someone because they do it in the song is just as disturbed as someone who listens to goth music and thinks the band is telling them to go kill themselves.
A true goth doesn't think that the song they are listening to is an invitation to do it, it's a connection... someone else had these feelings too. It's a tool to help you deal with it. The guy who wrote the song was able to work through it... I can too.
"I'm so non-conformist that I'm actually going to conform"
One of the most popular notions about goths is they view themselves as non conformists. And that is true, we do. There is a basic need in every human being to conform to something. Otherwise we'd all be loners and not have a society. Even though goths don't like to conform, we do in our own way.
You have to look at the word conform (and conformist) to really understand what non conformist means to a goth.
Why? Because popularity is exactly what goth isn't all about. This is something my husband tends to ask me about a lot because he doesn't quite understand the intricacies of being goth. He understands goth... I couldn't be married to him if he didn't, but the true definition of it he can't define... because he's not.
He is a cultural subgroup butterfly. He can fit in very well with many different types of people without really any problems. He's a geek though, a geek with an appreciation of the darker side of the world. He's not perky or trendy and has a darker sense of humor but his interests allow him to explore many things. Which really is a good definition of goth on it's surface, it just goes a bit deeper than that when you truly define it.
With the popularity of goth, many have tried to define it. Most popular media define it as depressed individuals who where black and seek attention. That's really a poor definition because the essence of goth runs against the grain of that definition. It's too superficial and that's why goth has become 'popular' because it's been so wrongly labeled.
Definition of goth then?
If that's not the definition... then what is? Goth is really impossible to define but it's not about just being depressed and wearing black nail polish. Goth is a cultural subgroup that continuously redefines itself because the core essence of goth is to (everyone get ready for the goth jokes...) non conformity.
It's hard to really pin point the time goth really began as a cultural subgroup. You could say the 70's and for all intents and purposes that is really when it began, but the idea of goth goes back much further... one could almost say it's always been in human culture, it just got it's label in the 1970's. It's the beatniks of the 50's and 60's, the horror followers of the Victorian (and early 20th century) era, ect.. ect.. it was those people who looked at popular society and weren't content with the bright sunny outlook and delved into emotions and subjects that most people suppressed.
Through out human culture, the norms of society have been mostly defined as beauty that wasn't disturbing. Depression, death, darkness has always been labeled as disturbing. Except for a brief period during the late 1800's... where death was actually well accepted. There was the movement that in order to deal better with harshness of death, accepting it was the best way to go. Funny, because in Victorian times repression of one's fears and feelings was strictly enforced, they took on death head on. It was a very superficial time, everyone was expected to ignore any other feeling but contentment with the status quo and appearing to be perfectly happy.
Society hasn't really changed much. Even now when it is more acceptable to confront your emotions, you are expected to 'get better' and emotions that are not deemed as 'happy' are not acceptable. So still... anything disturbing is not acceptable.
Goth is still about accepting things others find disturbing and turning them positive... yes I said positive. It's not about being depressed, it's about accepting that depression is part of human nature and learning from it. Goths usually aren't chronically depressed, goths just accept depression and don't try to ignore it or 'make it go away'. Goths find beauty in things others find disturbing. There's a beauty in death. Though that doesn't make us a bunch of mass murderers... that also doesn't mean that goths want to kill themselves. Death is metaphoric sometimes... the realization that all things end so new things can begin.
Death and Goths
As I said, there's a certain beauty in death. Goths fully realize death is going to happen, it's part of the life cycle. You have to accept you are going to die, but a well adjusted goth isn't trying to hasten that into happening. You can't make your statement about society if your dead. I've never met a real goth who really wanted to kill themselves, death (and suicide) is just another emotion to explore. For a goth, talking about killing themselves is actually rare, most work through any suicidal thoughts and take the experience to grow and learn. Explore it, but death is so final you'll miss out on a lot of fun by being dead... though exploring the emotions can be fun. It's morbid fun... but it's fun. That really sets goths apart from mainstream society.
A lot of goth music deals with death and suicide... because it is a way to deal with the emotions in a healthy way (dieing is hazardous to your health after all). Awareness of your feelings is actually healthy emotionally too. Poetry and music about death and suicide gives you an outlet to deal with those things in a way that doesn't harm you or anyone else. Of course, those that take a song or a poem about death and actually go and do it are extremely disturbed people.
Music and the mindset... is goth music really bad for people?
There have been too many truly unstable young people who have listened to goth music and thought it was telling them that they should do whatever it is in the song. Killing themselves or someone else... they think that the song is an outline on what to do.
It's not just goth music that is 'guilty' of that. For a very long time society has been concerned about music influencing people because of a few unbalanced individuals. Back in the 50's it was rock-n-roll, then it was rap, ect... you can find it in every era of music. Anyone who listens to rap and thinks it's okay to go 'cap' someone because they do it in the song is just as disturbed as someone who listens to goth music and thinks the band is telling them to go kill themselves.
A true goth doesn't think that the song they are listening to is an invitation to do it, it's a connection... someone else had these feelings too. It's a tool to help you deal with it. The guy who wrote the song was able to work through it... I can too.
"I'm so non-conformist that I'm actually going to conform"
One of the most popular notions about goths is they view themselves as non conformists. And that is true, we do. There is a basic need in every human being to conform to something. Otherwise we'd all be loners and not have a society. Even though goths don't like to conform, we do in our own way.
You have to look at the word conform (and conformist) to really understand what non conformist means to a goth.
to behave, dress etc in the way that most
other people do
That is the cultural view of the word. You must do what the majority of society does. And the majority of society has vastly different behaviors than goths
(as we've noted above).
Goths conform within the goth society. There are certain aspects all share in some way, from dress to behavior to personal outlook. That is conforming but not to mainstream culture's norms.
However, the South Park episode where the goth kid joins in on the dance contest and which the quote above is taken from is very true... frighteningly true.
Most goths will conform to each other to an extent. And proving the level of non conformity will manifest itself within the sub culture itself. Even not conforming to goths is highly respected because you are practicing what you preach.
Because of that has made the goth subculture a very embracing set of people. Goths open their society to anyone so long as you respect them. Anyone can be goth and there is a very wide variety of sub groups with in the sub culture because goths don't really judge, as long as you aren't trying to follow the trends and have the basic goth beliefs, they don't care what type of goth you are (even though perky goths annoy most goths...). Don't conform to society, embrace some basic beliefs, and you are in (though wearing black clothes is most certainly a plus).
There is no true non conformist. But goths are as close as you're going to get. It has helped us change with the times as well. The goth subculture is constantly reshaping itself as things that were once distinctly goth have filtered into mainstream society. It's one of the few subcultures that has been able to survive and change and still preserve it's core essence.
Survival of the Darkest
One of the most noticeable traits of the goth culture is fascination with things dark. The music, literature, style... it's all about darkness. Popular society rebels against things that are dark, which is a major part of why gothic culture revels in it... that non conformist thing again.
But truly to be a goth means you have to find the beauty in things like decay, death, and darkness. Mystery and ritual... for most goths nothing is more appealing than a run down church or cemetery. Things cast aside by trendy people.
For outsiders, the two most notable traits about goths are the belief (by outsiders) that all goths thinks themselves as vampires (not true) and they are all satanists or wiccans (also not true).
Vampires don't define goths. Many, many goths actually abhor 'vampire kids'. (You'll find the word 'kids' a lot in goth culture in place of the word wannabe, especially as goths grow older, it's a word for immaturity and not truly understanding what it means to be goth).
In my opinion, as vampires have become more mainstream, less and less appeal is seen in them. But 'vampire goths' have their place in goth society as a fashion just like 'Victorian goths', 'baby goths', 'techno goths', ect. It's a style, not a belief.
Another common belief about goths is they are into pain... and S & M. In someways... maybe. Understanding pain emotionally and physically is important... but not all goths get off by being tied up.
Style VS Beliefs
One of the most important aspects of the goth subculture is goth itself is not the style, it's the belief. Labeling yourself as goth is not labeling your style, but the set of rules you follow in your life. Goths can be chameleons in every day life by appearance as goths move out of high school and college and into adult life.
My co-workers who only know me on a professional level wouldn't realize I am goth since some of them only have contact with me when I'm working... ie; on the phone. You get fired easily in customer service if you aren't perky. I struggle constantly with sound perky enough (and constantly get told to use more words like 'good news!', 'that's awesome!' and the like), but most of my co-workers think that I am a lot more perky than I am.
It can be a struggle, but not everyone can be in a goth band that makes lots of money and still be able to live their lifestyle on a public way. Most of us end up having to work in jobs where we have to conform (there's that word again...) in order to keep a roof over our heads.
But if goth itself isn't the style, then what is the style of goths?
That's harder to define and yet easier to define at the same time. Goth is the set of beliefs, then the fashion comes from....?
It depends. Since the gothic culture is very diverse, far more so than outsiders understand, it depends on the individual. Sub categories of goth vary and draw their style from different things. There is also a lot of them with new ones cropping up every day, and sub genres in groups, ect... I'm not even going to try to touch on them all, just some major ones.
Most people start with two categories before breaking it down even further. Old goth and young goth. It does change with age, the categories constantly fluxing. Old goth tend towards the more traditional styles, while young goth take more current variations on style into their own world. So what was once young goth can become old goth, and as the individual's tastes mature, so does the category.
Old goth tends to be more conservative by modern standards, more refined if you will. In my age group you'll find more 'Victorian goths' as that was our fashion when we were younger. In our younger days (80's and 90's) when we were rebelling against fashion, it was bringing out all the 'stuffiness' of old fashioned clothes and putting our own twist on them. Now, the mainstream fashions of the 70's, 80's, and 90's are old fashioned... though the fashions of the 60's and early 70's are' in fashion'.
So it goes according to goth trends that those fashions of the 80's and 90's are the young goths way of rebelling against society's fashions. Raver fashion, skin tight clubbing clothes, ripped clothing, and neon (accents... black will always be the prevailing color) and the grunge style (oversized tshirts, baggy pants) have pushed forward. Though the 'grunge' style has always been in the gothic style box.
The sub categories can run two ways for influence. Fashion is a way to express yourself with out saying a word. A way to give some one an impression, true or false, without direct interaction. With goths it's a lot more defined, like the naughty school girl of popular culture because goths love to define themselves in a particular category.
So the styles are influenced by either the style of gothic music you prefer, or the image of those in your subgroup... how they want to have people know them by. Or both (mostly both). It can be easy to pick out a goth's sub group by the way they dress.
But the sub categories run across the lines between young and old. Lolita goths and baby goths have a lot in common. The main idea being to look like a young temptress. Baby goths tend to be less temptress and more 'innocent'. Any goth knows that a baby goth is not innocent. Lolita goths you'll find trying to look younger and wearing a lot of tight clothing.
A Victorian goths is more likely to dress in a twisted form of Victorian style, lots of lace and satin and corsets. You know at first glance they probably listen to The Cure and prefer to sit around and look morose, making snide comments.
Cybergoths and Rivetheads are a lot alike as well. Rivetheads are 'industrial' prefering moshing around with industrial music in the background. They're somewhat like punks, somewhat like cybergoths in a way (industrial music having a lot of technology in it... come on, Skinny Puppy... think about it! They don't bang on steel oil barrels!). Cybergoths take a lot of the Rivethead's fashion and club it up a bit.
And yes, there's even vampire goths, much different than 'vampire kids', and a bit like Victorian goths at times. They don't actually think they're vampires though.
Perky goths.... humm....
Perky goths are perky... hyper, won't sit still. I've never found much specific style in perky goth, it's more of a statement, they are very noticeable and at one time were the only goths you'd find that would dare to put pink in their wardrobe. They do tend towards the 'cute' factor (I always believed baby goths grew out of the perky goth sub genre) in fashion. They earn the "Love you to death!" *bounce about the room* title. But it's less about specific style and more about perception. You'll find a perky goth in a little Victorian outfit with lace (but short skirts!) carrying a little pink umbrella or in baggy clothes with hot pink nail polish.
You'll find more conservative goths dressed in pin stripped suits. They tend to be more subtle of the goth groups. They are more about projecting an image than taking style from music (unlike Rivetheads).
The list goes on and on, but those are just examples of the styles. But in the end, goth is about accepting the darkness in you (even a perky goth will happily talk about death), it's the sub groups in goth that find the style.
So just saying "I'm goth" is not defining your style. Though most goths will label their style as goth outside of the gothic culture because most people can't distinguish between the sub genres.
Goths and life... yeah we have one...
My husband sometimes makes fun of me that I'm less goth now than I was when we met. I shake my head, smack him, and say "No I'm not, I'm just having to pretend to be a grown up.".
This is something all goths must face at some time. Growing up. We can't keep up our lifestyle without a job. We can't work in a coffee house forever, so in order to maintain a life, we end up sacrificing some things in order to have a place to live, eat, and keep gas in the 'gothmobile'. And it can be hard to get a good job looking like a 'freak'.
One thing I dreaded... and am now having to deal with, is pregnancy. Yeah, even goths reproduce. It's hard to look goth and be preggos. Even harder to find maternity clothes that fit your tastes. Since I've had to start wearing maternity clothes, I've been less me, more someone else... err.. victim of the fashion industry. I do still try, but one of the horrors for the goth is the cutsie style of maternity clothes. Now it's easier to find dark colors in maternity clothes than it was 10 years ago, but still, mothers to be have a hard time finding maternity clothes, they aren't common, and to be honest, since it's such a small nitch, all the fashion reflects the latest fashion.
And I'm still looking for goth baby clothes! Plus trying to get my mother out of the mindset her grandson is going to be dressed in cute little baby blue clothes with Elmo on it (God I hate Elmo). Someone find me some black baby booties and Cure T-shirt in 0-3 months.
But it really defines me as a goth in the end. Sacrificing myself because I have to. Get out the cross and nails, she's going into goth mode... :p
Goths conform within the goth society. There are certain aspects all share in some way, from dress to behavior to personal outlook. That is conforming but not to mainstream culture's norms.
However, the South Park episode where the goth kid joins in on the dance contest and which the quote above is taken from is very true... frighteningly true.
Most goths will conform to each other to an extent. And proving the level of non conformity will manifest itself within the sub culture itself. Even not conforming to goths is highly respected because you are practicing what you preach.
Because of that has made the goth subculture a very embracing set of people. Goths open their society to anyone so long as you respect them. Anyone can be goth and there is a very wide variety of sub groups with in the sub culture because goths don't really judge, as long as you aren't trying to follow the trends and have the basic goth beliefs, they don't care what type of goth you are (even though perky goths annoy most goths...). Don't conform to society, embrace some basic beliefs, and you are in (though wearing black clothes is most certainly a plus).
There is no true non conformist. But goths are as close as you're going to get. It has helped us change with the times as well. The goth subculture is constantly reshaping itself as things that were once distinctly goth have filtered into mainstream society. It's one of the few subcultures that has been able to survive and change and still preserve it's core essence.
Survival of the Darkest
One of the most noticeable traits of the goth culture is fascination with things dark. The music, literature, style... it's all about darkness. Popular society rebels against things that are dark, which is a major part of why gothic culture revels in it... that non conformist thing again.
But truly to be a goth means you have to find the beauty in things like decay, death, and darkness. Mystery and ritual... for most goths nothing is more appealing than a run down church or cemetery. Things cast aside by trendy people.
For outsiders, the two most notable traits about goths are the belief (by outsiders) that all goths thinks themselves as vampires (not true) and they are all satanists or wiccans (also not true).
Vampires don't define goths. Many, many goths actually abhor 'vampire kids'. (You'll find the word 'kids' a lot in goth culture in place of the word wannabe, especially as goths grow older, it's a word for immaturity and not truly understanding what it means to be goth).
In my opinion, as vampires have become more mainstream, less and less appeal is seen in them. But 'vampire goths' have their place in goth society as a fashion just like 'Victorian goths', 'baby goths', 'techno goths', ect. It's a style, not a belief.
Another common belief about goths is they are into pain... and S & M. In someways... maybe. Understanding pain emotionally and physically is important... but not all goths get off by being tied up.
Style VS Beliefs
One of the most important aspects of the goth subculture is goth itself is not the style, it's the belief. Labeling yourself as goth is not labeling your style, but the set of rules you follow in your life. Goths can be chameleons in every day life by appearance as goths move out of high school and college and into adult life.
My co-workers who only know me on a professional level wouldn't realize I am goth since some of them only have contact with me when I'm working... ie; on the phone. You get fired easily in customer service if you aren't perky. I struggle constantly with sound perky enough (and constantly get told to use more words like 'good news!', 'that's awesome!' and the like), but most of my co-workers think that I am a lot more perky than I am.
It can be a struggle, but not everyone can be in a goth band that makes lots of money and still be able to live their lifestyle on a public way. Most of us end up having to work in jobs where we have to conform (there's that word again...) in order to keep a roof over our heads.
But if goth itself isn't the style, then what is the style of goths?
That's harder to define and yet easier to define at the same time. Goth is the set of beliefs, then the fashion comes from....?
It depends. Since the gothic culture is very diverse, far more so than outsiders understand, it depends on the individual. Sub categories of goth vary and draw their style from different things. There is also a lot of them with new ones cropping up every day, and sub genres in groups, ect... I'm not even going to try to touch on them all, just some major ones.
Most people start with two categories before breaking it down even further. Old goth and young goth. It does change with age, the categories constantly fluxing. Old goth tend towards the more traditional styles, while young goth take more current variations on style into their own world. So what was once young goth can become old goth, and as the individual's tastes mature, so does the category.
Old goth tends to be more conservative by modern standards, more refined if you will. In my age group you'll find more 'Victorian goths' as that was our fashion when we were younger. In our younger days (80's and 90's) when we were rebelling against fashion, it was bringing out all the 'stuffiness' of old fashioned clothes and putting our own twist on them. Now, the mainstream fashions of the 70's, 80's, and 90's are old fashioned... though the fashions of the 60's and early 70's are' in fashion'.
So it goes according to goth trends that those fashions of the 80's and 90's are the young goths way of rebelling against society's fashions. Raver fashion, skin tight clubbing clothes, ripped clothing, and neon (accents... black will always be the prevailing color) and the grunge style (oversized tshirts, baggy pants) have pushed forward. Though the 'grunge' style has always been in the gothic style box.
The sub categories can run two ways for influence. Fashion is a way to express yourself with out saying a word. A way to give some one an impression, true or false, without direct interaction. With goths it's a lot more defined, like the naughty school girl of popular culture because goths love to define themselves in a particular category.
So the styles are influenced by either the style of gothic music you prefer, or the image of those in your subgroup... how they want to have people know them by. Or both (mostly both). It can be easy to pick out a goth's sub group by the way they dress.
But the sub categories run across the lines between young and old. Lolita goths and baby goths have a lot in common. The main idea being to look like a young temptress. Baby goths tend to be less temptress and more 'innocent'. Any goth knows that a baby goth is not innocent. Lolita goths you'll find trying to look younger and wearing a lot of tight clothing.
A Victorian goths is more likely to dress in a twisted form of Victorian style, lots of lace and satin and corsets. You know at first glance they probably listen to The Cure and prefer to sit around and look morose, making snide comments.
Cybergoths and Rivetheads are a lot alike as well. Rivetheads are 'industrial' prefering moshing around with industrial music in the background. They're somewhat like punks, somewhat like cybergoths in a way (industrial music having a lot of technology in it... come on, Skinny Puppy... think about it! They don't bang on steel oil barrels!). Cybergoths take a lot of the Rivethead's fashion and club it up a bit.
And yes, there's even vampire goths, much different than 'vampire kids', and a bit like Victorian goths at times. They don't actually think they're vampires though.
Perky goths.... humm....
Perky goths are perky... hyper, won't sit still. I've never found much specific style in perky goth, it's more of a statement, they are very noticeable and at one time were the only goths you'd find that would dare to put pink in their wardrobe. They do tend towards the 'cute' factor (I always believed baby goths grew out of the perky goth sub genre) in fashion. They earn the "Love you to death!" *bounce about the room* title. But it's less about specific style and more about perception. You'll find a perky goth in a little Victorian outfit with lace (but short skirts!) carrying a little pink umbrella or in baggy clothes with hot pink nail polish.
You'll find more conservative goths dressed in pin stripped suits. They tend to be more subtle of the goth groups. They are more about projecting an image than taking style from music (unlike Rivetheads).
The list goes on and on, but those are just examples of the styles. But in the end, goth is about accepting the darkness in you (even a perky goth will happily talk about death), it's the sub groups in goth that find the style.
So just saying "I'm goth" is not defining your style. Though most goths will label their style as goth outside of the gothic culture because most people can't distinguish between the sub genres.
Goths and life... yeah we have one...
My husband sometimes makes fun of me that I'm less goth now than I was when we met. I shake my head, smack him, and say "No I'm not, I'm just having to pretend to be a grown up.".
This is something all goths must face at some time. Growing up. We can't keep up our lifestyle without a job. We can't work in a coffee house forever, so in order to maintain a life, we end up sacrificing some things in order to have a place to live, eat, and keep gas in the 'gothmobile'. And it can be hard to get a good job looking like a 'freak'.
One thing I dreaded... and am now having to deal with, is pregnancy. Yeah, even goths reproduce. It's hard to look goth and be preggos. Even harder to find maternity clothes that fit your tastes. Since I've had to start wearing maternity clothes, I've been less me, more someone else... err.. victim of the fashion industry. I do still try, but one of the horrors for the goth is the cutsie style of maternity clothes. Now it's easier to find dark colors in maternity clothes than it was 10 years ago, but still, mothers to be have a hard time finding maternity clothes, they aren't common, and to be honest, since it's such a small nitch, all the fashion reflects the latest fashion.
And I'm still looking for goth baby clothes! Plus trying to get my mother out of the mindset her grandson is going to be dressed in cute little baby blue clothes with Elmo on it (God I hate Elmo). Someone find me some black baby booties and Cure T-shirt in 0-3 months.
But it really defines me as a goth in the end. Sacrificing myself because I have to. Get out the cross and nails, she's going into goth mode... :p
